When faced with disruptions in health, it’s not uncommon for life priorities to also come under the microscope. This has happened in my life a few times. When my youngest was born and we both nearly died. A year later when I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and underwent a hysterectomy and, most acutely in 2014 when I watched Shawn die and then come back from double cardiac arrests and a subsequent heart attack and medical coma.
I have watched this shift as it happened with my former workaholic husband. He doesn’t live for his job anymore. He lives to LIVE. Facing his death shook our world and has brought us closer than we have ever been in our almost 22 years of marriage.
Last year I was dealing with sarcoidosis and thought by now it would be gone. Of course, as you now know and I now know, it’s not only not gone, it’s camping out in my lungs and it brought some as yet unknown buddies to the party.
After meeting with my new specialist, the first of several new tests is coming on Wednesday. One of my friends at work asked me why I wasn’t just staying home, taking time to deal with this. But. With all the current unknowns, I want to live my life as normally as possible. I actually really love my job. There is a joy in knowing you’re doing something of worth and doing it well.
I no longer have time for negativity in my life. I care less each day about the opinions of others. My family is the most important thing in my life. I surround myself with friends who understand me and love me for exactly who I am and I find strength in that.
There is not such thing as a perfect life, outside of a sitcom, unless you are willing to let go of what you think it should look like, let go of living to please someone else’s ideals and live your happiness, outwardly and inwardly, every day. And that is why I know that no matter what hand is dealt to me, or to anyone in my family, as 2016 comes to a close and 2017 begins, I will go forward as I am right now in this very minute: surrounded by people I love and making time to do things I love to do.
Who would want to live any other way?