There was a time when I used to pay attention to people magazine’s yearly announcement of “the sexiest man alive”. I grew up with Johnny Depp often taking that honour. Denzel Washington, Nick Nolte once if you can believe it. Mel Gibson. Pierce Brosnan. Sexy men to be sure. And while I was never one to pepper my bedroom walls with the pullout posters from magazines, I made no bones about waxing romantic over my favourite leading men.
The sexiest woman alive was something different though. I’d see Pamela Anderson and the Baywatch girls, Halle Berry and Angelina and Selma Hyack and I would secretly wish for their hair, their lips, their legs, their boobs. I wanted to be looked at the way both men and women seemed to look at them. It wasn’t until WAY later in life that I realized that the way they were and still are looked at, men included but more so the women, was and is seriously flawed.
The idea that what makes a person desireable is nothing more than a media conceived image is frankly grotesque. What if Halle Berry is actually super smart and loves pizza? What if Johnny Depp loves dancing to the Bee Gees? Don’t those qualities count? More and more the qualifier seems to be who spent the most time with their trainer/stylist/hair and makeup team and publicist in which case, THOSE people are the ones cranking out the sexy, not the person who graces the cover of people, more often than not generously photoshopped to boot.
Here’s the thing. I have made a break through discovery. I found the sexiest man on the planet, for real. He doesn’t have a new blockbuster out. He doesn’t have a six pack, although he sometimes buys one. He’s tall and handsome and he works hard. He is a family man. And he sleeps next to me almost every night. Watching him laugh with our kids? That’s sexy. Seeing him cooking in our kitchen? Sexy as hell. When he does housework, y’all I could just about throw my panties at him.
Sometimes he dances with me in the living room, just because.
And I found the sexiest woman alive too. She loves to laugh. She is also all about her family. She works hard. She plays hard. She loves her friends with fierce loyalty and she can be crazy insecure. But, at 40, she is learning more everyday about looking in a mirror and not immediately searching for faults. Her body may be softer and rounder but it’s also strong.
The most amazing part of this new discovery? She’s also you. And he is also you. We can all be the sexiest person alive to someone, but honestly, shouldn’t we start with ourselves?