I was a HUGE swinger in my earlier years. Huge.
Mood swing-er, that is.
I would swing so hard in my moods that one of my doctors once thought I was a little bi-polar. But then I got medicated and I had a shit-ton of therapy, and then some more therapy and I stabilized for a nice long stretch of time. Which is pretty awesome, considering all the craptacular things that have happened (and the oh holy wow amazing things too) in the last couple of years.
Last night the kids begged me to take both dogs into my room. And while it’s not so strange for one or the other of the dogs to sleep in there, usually my little tiny guy, Kermit, sleeps with my daughter Kathryn. He’s really been her baby since he was, well, a baby. So, when she goes on sleepovers and she isn’t home, he whines at her door. Sounds cute, right? Sure it does. I thought so too, when it was from the other side of my own closed bedroom door. But she is keeping him out of her room at the moment and the night before last, he apparently kept all three kids up in the middle of the night with his whining.
If you think whining dogs are cute, you should see three teenagers who are sleep deprived. They’re charming. Delightful. (Is the sarcasm font working yet???)
So, with Shawn away in Halifax, I took both dogs into my room last night. Now, I already don’t sleep great when he’s away, but last night I heard every fall of every dog nail clacking on the hardwood floor. Finally I fell asleep somewhere around 1:30 but I was awakened in the wee hours by the sound of a small dog making an abnormally big noise.
Kermit, whining at my door. Loudly. He wanted out. I told him to shush. At one point I think I threw a pillow at him. Finally I gave up and grabbed my phone to check the time. 6:30. Great. I got up to try to deal with him and slipped in a puddle of dog pee. Thanks, bud. That’s frickin’ great.
So, not enough sleep and up early dealing with a sad dog and pee on my floor and I was tired and cranky. Bad mood? Yes. Check mark. I went downstairs and remembered that we BADLY need to go grocery shopping which meant, no salad for me for lunch today because we’re out of spinach and dammit I really love my spinach salad.
I got to work and had a super busy morning and remembered that I had a doctors appointment at 10:45. Testing results. Always a blast.
Well, I don’t know what happened, but I had to wait an hour to get in to my appointment and when my doctor and I started talking, I suddenly felt like I was going to cry. No, I didn’t get bad news, in fact, my health is remarkably good. But, I got that thing, that lump in my throat, you know, when you just know if you don’t do something drastic you’re going to burst into tears. And not adorable, single tear down a beautifully sad face tears either. Full on Claire Danes ugly crying.
So, I left her office and went back to mine feeling out of sorts.
The rest of my afternoon has been a lot of the same. I have no “reason” to feel emotional today, I just do. I am. So I’m hoping tomorrow will be better.
I just realized, that doesn’t sound like a mood ‘swing’ per se, as much as it does a moody day, but whatever, it’s my blog and I’ll call it what I want. Lol.
Chalk it all up to perimenopause maybe. Why not?
Either way, I think I’m going to need some chocolate tonight. Maybe a Bette Midler movie. Maybe both.