All my life I’ve had exceptional vision. 20/20. Once I think I was measured at better than 20/20. While both my parents and five of my six siblings wear them. I thought, YES! I have the great eyes. Awesome.
And then I turned 40. And one night one of my kids mentioned that they had seen me squinting a bit lately. So, seeing as I was booking the kids in for their eye exams, I thought, might as well get mine done too.
Now, I’ve had two occasions in my life when specific eye care was needed. Not the ‘read the chart from the wall in the doctors office’ but real eye care. Once about twenty years ago. I had an infection and I remember being so freaked out at the hospital with the eye machines they were checking me with, that I passed out on the floor.
The second time was a couple of years ago. I got something in my eye and it really, really hurt. My hubs told me that I had to go get it checked out. I don’t know why, but for some reason I freaked. No, I mean I FREAKED OUT!
I was hysterical. I was crying so hard I was almost choking. One of the kids had a friend over and lord help me but they saw a grown woman reduced to a blubbering, red faced, crazy mess.
At the hospital I told them I was scared and freaked out. I explained that someone touching my eye scared the bejeebus out of me. So I don’t know why my doctor looked so alarmed when he approached me, no warning, with a q-tip and made straight for my pupil. I recoiled and he got annoyed. Then he put some kind of hyper-yellow drops in my eye, looked at it through his evil eye-scope and pronounced that the offending item was gone, but that I had scratched my cornea and had to wear an eye patch overnight.
Despite the best efforts of my husband to cheer me up, I WOULD NOT make pirate sounds. I just didn’t find it funny in that moment.
So fast forward to about a week and a half ago. Kids are going in for their eye exams because all three of my daughters wear glasses. The two still living at home need their eyes checked for sure. My youngest son went in to get checked as well. And…I went.
My new eye doctor scared the DAYLIGHTS out of me. He asked me what brought me in, as we walked down the hall to his office. I told him I turned 40 and decided it was a good idea to get checked. He asked when my last eye exam was and I said, like this? Never.
Then he told me a story of a guy who was 28 and always had perfect vision and how he got a new job with insurance that included eye care so he decided to come in. Well, they found a malignant melanoma (or some such scary cancerous word) behind his eye and had him immediately sent to hospital and THEY sent him immediately to Halifax where they saved him but he, of course, lost his eye and how if he hadn’t been in he would have died in five days.
THIS IS WHAT HE TOLD ME WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF MY ARRIVAL!!
So, yeah, I was a *little* freaked out.
But it went fine. Other than my jumping when those little puffs of air shot into my eyes. Weird.
He pointed out to me on the screen how great and strong my eyes are. And he pointed out where you can tell if someone has high blood pressure, which I don’t. And I thought, great, my eyes are still rock stars.
Then he told me that while my right eye is great, my left one has an astigmatism. I need glasses. And I should probably be wearing them all the time, although my eyes are still good enough that I won’t need them listed as required on my license. At least not yet. However since I spend so much time in front of screens or reading I really need to wear them all the time.
Well poop. Saying I was not happy with this news is a bit of an understatement. I don’t want glasses. I think they look awful on me. I’m already feeling so, so, old these days and I felt like glasses are only going to make me feel older. No offense to the current glasses-wearing masses. I mean some people look amazing in their glasses! I’ve seen them. I just don’t identify as one of them.
What must get done gets done and so I went yesterday with my kids back to the optician to pick out glasses. I tried on so many pairs. Every colour, every style. Cat’s eye glasses and rectangular ones, glasses with no bottoms to the frame (those were a big fat NO from everyone) and glasses with plastic frames and metal ones. By the time half an hour had gone by, even the staff were putting in their opinions.
I finally settled on a pair that I “didn’t hate” (my new barometer for acceptance) and ordered them. They will be in either Friday or Monday this week.
I’m nervous. Not going to lie. I don’t do well with changes and this is a big one. But I’m realistic as well. Time marches on. Sometimes apparently, it marches all over your face.
Sigh. Ah well.
Maybe they’ll make me look smarter….