“Be bold, be bold, everywhere be bold” Herbert Spencer
As you can tell, I’m having a series of ‘moments’ leading up to my birthday. I’m taking stock, re-evaluating, counting my blessings, however you want to put it. I’m taking a good, hard look at my life and I’m trying to look honestly at where I’ve been, where I am and where I want to go. It’s mutha-effin’ humbling. There’s a lot of mistakes in my rear view mirror. And a LOT of potholes and detours.
I was reading an article on my break today at work about artists, how we must learn to work the business side of ourselves just as hard as the creative side if we want to do more than just hone our craft for pure personal enjoyment. While this article talked a lot about visiting and re-visiting what is and is not working when it comes to honing your craft and building an audience it also stressed the importance of not allowing yourself to always play it safe when it comes to the expression of your art.
The idea of being fearless is subjective. What might be a huge leap of faith for me in the face of a fear might be a cake walk for you. But that is what makes is such a beautiful piece of advice. When you push your own boundaries, your audience senses you’ve done it.
I admit, I’ve gotten complacent on here from time to time. Some of my earlier posts, when I’ve gone back to read them, are WAY funnier than what I do now. I complain a lot. I have to watch that. We all have our own crap. Reading about mine *might* be a diversion for you as a reader, but it’s one that will wane quickly if I do it too much. But what IS fearless for me? As an artist? As a person?
Fearless is writing about Shawn’s heart attacks and how that affected us all. Fearless is talking about our history as a couple and all the awesome and shitty things we went through that led us up to last September.
Fearless is writing sex scenes in my fiction novels and using the F word, knowing that my parents and some other relatives read them. Fearless is being unabashed and honest when I write them.
Fearless is remembering that even though I am a wife and a mother and an auntie and a daughter that it’s okay for me to take time for me every once in a while.
Fearless is learning to dance on my patio in my bathing suit in the sunset. It’s skinny dipping in my pool and it’s singing out loud in the car with the windows open. Fearless is loving someone whole heartedly, not just in spite of their flaws but even because of them. Fearless is standing up for myself, even when it’s a really hard thing to do. And saying no.
And saying yes.
It’s embracing the unknown and not sweating the inevitable.
It’s being okay with letting go.
It’s allowing happiness to be the rule instead of the exception.
Fearless is scary, but it’s also beautiful.