After years of struggling with not getting periods and visiting multiple doctors to try to get a diagnosis. Many blood tests, many ultrasounds, finally getting a gyno only to have her care stop because he died of cancer quite suddenly….my daughter knows what’s going on with her body, and it’s not pretty.
The day after twentieth birthday, last week, she got a call from the doctor she had seen at a clinic only a week before. Less than a full week since they had also done blood work and an ultrasound, they wanted her to come in to discuss results…that day. Never good news when they call you back in a hurry and this wasn’t either.
She has PCOS. Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. I also have this and we were able to discuss ways to manage it. She also has edometrial hyperplasia. Basically, what her doc told her is that her risk factors for diabetes and heart disease are up as is her risk for uterine cancer and that her fertility is likely compromised from her going through this for six years without a diagnosis or treatment. She is scared and she is living with a family friend in Ontario, away from us and feeling very alone. It’s not easy.
Keisha has always said that she isn’t sure if she wants kids. Maybe one, maybe one day, she has said. But having a medical professional tell her that the option might just be out of her hands is another story and it’s a hard thing to hear.
Early hysterectomies due to medical complications run in our family. My grandmother was 33. One of my aunts was barely over 30. I was 27. In a day and age when people are putting off having families until later in life, I’m glad in hindsight, that I had my family very young. I hate that my daughter, who is both single and a lesbian, is now facing a very difficult road when it comes to having a family. More so than it already was.
A friend of mine recently referred to this summer as the summer of suck. People getting bad news left and right. We have had news that our dog Katie is dying of cancer, news about the last of the fallout of losing the Ontario house and now my daughter has to make some big changes due to her health.
The night before we heart this, last Wednesday, my husband and I had a big ole barney in our back room. I can’t remember exactly what it was that started the fight, but I do know that once the floodgates were open, it ALL came out. Every annoyance, every grievance and every fear from the last few months. It turned out to be a good thing. You have to release the valves every once in a while so that nothing explodes and we wound up talking about some issues that we had been avoiding but that needed some TLC in our relationship. I attribute that fight completely to my not overreacting to Keisha’s news the next night.
Here’s the hard truth, folks. Being an adult sucks. But, it’s all about learning to keep things in perspective, allowing yourself to FEEL without reproach, living in the moment and counting your blessings. Is she in for a hard road? Sure she is. But, she is strong and capable and smart and I have no doubt that she will be able to handle this.
Everyone has their own shit, as my sister in law and I were just saying to one another in a recent conversation. We all do. But you live, you learn and you keep on moving. And you lean on the ones who love you when you need to. Because sooner or later, you’re going to need them and they’re going to need you.
We can all use a friend. And we all need a little love.