Back in days past I used to go on “writer’s weekends” to spend two days holed up in a hotel with nothing but my laptop, my cigarettes and my imagination. I would specifically seek out those last hold outs of hotels who still had the shun wing, otherwise known as smoking rooms and I would turn off everything but the voices in my head that needed translation onto the electronic page.
I haven’t done a writers weekend in a long time. Which is fine, things move and change and life takes the new paths it is meant to take. In fact, as most of you readers who’ve been with me for a while know, I actually went on a long, drawn out and much lamented writing hiatus. For nearly two years. Summer Poppies should have been finished and released ages ago. But then a HUGE chunk of work was lost and with it my spirit to finish the book.
Back a little while ago, Shawn had to go to Moncton for a day or two on business so I went with him, brought my laptop, and tried to get back into the swing of things.
It did not go as well as I had hoped.
Everything, every part of the book that needs to be re-written from the loss, is a splinter digging into the wound of my writers heart. I did on the second day there get MUCH more done and started to find my groove again, but it was painful. In the meantime, I have another outline for another fiction book sitting on the shelf, a book that I truly believe will be great, and, I started to talk to some friends about life in the aftermath of Shawn’s heart attack. The role of a caretaker is not an easy one. I had several days of emotional overload and several days of burnout.
I asked them what they would think about me writing a book about it all. The question was met with resounding positivity. Yes, they shouted, as much as one can shout online, you should do it!
So, I talked to Shawn. And, I’m doing it.
I realized quickly that I cannot tell the story of his heart ordeal without first telling our story. In a sense I’m writing our autobiography as a couple. And folks, shit has gone down in 20 years. It’s crazy.
This week Shawn has had to be in Halifax. Sunday to Wednesday. I came with him. Yesterday we had to drive through MORE effing snow and bad road conditions to get here and then set up his booth for his conference. Today has been me and a laptop and memories. No cigarettes. I got close to 8000 words out today and I am remembering those days when I would sit on my own and just write. The words simply flowed out. I couldn’t stop. I have to stop now because I’m sore and tired and need a break, both physically and mentally, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow. PLUS, my mom and dad are driving into the city tomorrow from their side of Nova Scotia to have lunch with me and I can’t wait for that!
So, I’m off now to join the hubs who is done for the day, so we can eat sushi and talk and rehash our younger, stressed out days.
Have a great night, all!!