I learned something, the hard way. Although it is fair to say that all lessons worth learning are learned the hard way.
I have learned that people will treat you in the way you allow them to.
Yes of course there are minor exceptions, some people are just douche-hats by nature and will treat anyone and everyone badly, no matter the circumstances.
How you conduct yourself will often dictate how others will treat you. If you’re shy, quiet and don’t speak up much, other more dominant personalities will often reflect that back by not engaging with you, not allowing you to speak, not asking your opinion or not acknowledging you at all.
If you allow yourself to be run rough-shod over, chances are, you will be.
I have been in that place before, though those who know me personally might find it hard to believe, as I can be quite outspoken, where I allowed someone else to railroad me simply because I was too shy or scared or whatever in that particular situation to speak up.
It’s a place I try not to be anymore. When I have something to say, I say it. My voice is worth being heard. I am entitled to ask questions. I am important enough to be my own best advocate/spokesperson.
I guess I’m trying to be more like some of my favourite characters that I’ve written. I mean, I’ve written some pretty strong women. Badass, one might even say. Women who’ve taken a bit of a kicking from life or from their families or their significant others but who have learned to come back from that tooting their own horns loudly and proudly. I write female characters that I admire. It’s time I start to be more like them.
Now, I understand that there are times when it’s best not to go throwing your voice out to be the loudest in the room. Of course, this trait is to be tempered according to the environment and the situation. I wouldn’t, for example, loudly extoll my own personal virtues while in a church or at someone else’s event (birthday party, etc) but I know I can stand up for myself when the situation calls for it. And I do. At least, I do better now.
No one is going to fight your battles in this world for you. It’s time I tell myself every day that I am worth it. I am worth being my own best advocate. I am worth having a voice and my voice deserves to be heard.
And you know what?
You’re worth it too.