It’s a good day today. A very good day.
Last night my Shawn, in typical Shawn fashion, got up out of bed and tried to walk to his bathroom. Luckily his nurse caught him before he hurt himself or keeled over and got him to lie back down. It’s so him to try to jump the gun and do things before he’s ready. He’s a warrior.
That being said, I have excellent news to report today. Shawn has been officially taken off the critical list. His heart is functioning at about 2/3’s, which, after the ordeal it just went through is nothing short of miraculous. He’s been able to sit up, talk a bit, ask for me and the kids by name and, in other typically Shawn fashion, told his night nurse to f-off last night when she tried to suction his chest.
I can’t express how amazing it is to go into his room now and see his eyes, focused and alert, find mine and to see him raise his hand for me to hold it. To hear him say to me “don’t go” when I have to leave the room or go home for a while. Just writing that here makes me tear up with joy.
It’s no secret that I’ve made my mistakes where he is concerned over the years. Goodness knows I’ve beaten myself up about it enough over the past five days (has it only been five days, feels like the world stopped). But, if ever I needed a reminder of just how much I love this man, I have it now in spades. He is the story of my life. I know every single part of him and he knows me better and more deeply than anyone ever has or ever will. He never once gave up on me, through everything we’ve been through, and I will not give up on him.
It feels like we’ve turned a corner. The kids are back to bickering, we’re all tired and we just want our Shawn to come home.
The love. Oh my goodness the love from everyone, everywhere. Angela, thank you for keeping his old team at Transfreight informed. I told him what “Patch” said last night and he smiled. Pat, Bonnie, Jd, you haven’t worked together in so long, but I feel the love. I truly do.
Greig, Alex, Alex, Steph, Linda and all the old theatre friends I feel your love too and your words to me have meant so much. My CGG’s. My love for you knows NO BOUNDS. All your comments and messages have been my saving grace at night when I come home. I count myself lucky to have friends like you all. The people at my old job at Talon, Lori, Tammy – thank you for the care package. Thanks to you even though our hours are weird, we’ve all been eating meals.
Shawn’s current team at RST/Sunbury. I don’t even know if any of you read this, but damn you guys. He loves his work and his team so much, you’re all like a second family to him and it shows because the support we’ve had has been unparalleled.
To all my and Shawn’s extended family who’ve also been sending me messages, I may not always answer them, but I read them all and I tell him at night. We are truly blessed.
I am at home for a bit right now but the kids and I will be back at the hospital in a few hours to chat with Dad. We’re such a strong family. I’ve never believed it more.
Keep your prayers and positive thoughts coming. I hope within the next day or two, I can put up a post straight from the Big Guy’s mouth to you. He sure appreciates everyone. And yes, Sarah, he’ll take that sponge bath, even if it comes with an ass-kicking for scaring us all so bad.