This is an older post from 2012, but I had such a great reaction to it – I’m re-posting today. Yes, the picture is still terrible and yes, he still has these undies. 🙂 To all my new readers who weren’t around when this was originally posted…enjoy.
Friday night the hubs and I went on a long overdue date night. We haven’t really been spending quality time alone together lately and there was some stuff we wanted to do and some things we wanted to talk about without kids.
So, off we went to London to find him some new dress shirts and stuff, shop around a bit, talk, hold hands and basically people watch and make up stories about people in the mall. That, and go into Le Chateau so I could ogle the gorgeous clothes that I can’t afford. Love it.
We were about to drive back out of town again but as we neared one of the outlet malls, we turned to one another.
La Vie en Rose??
Our favourite lingerie store. Yes, I said “our”. I have one of those awesome husbands who sees a lingerie store and immediately believes that I need new stuff. Bras, undies, sleepwear, whatever it is, if it has lace or silk or satin, I need more.
But, La Vie also has a pretty sweet little men’s section and he loves some of their men’s line. I do too, the material is always really nice, the fit is always really good and well, what man doesn’t want to feel pretty too? Come on, don’t you just feel a little sexier and a little more powerful when you know you’re rockin’ some really great drawers? I know I do.
Apparently the store was also in the middle of a sale. Fantastic. 2 bras for $20? Yes. 2 panties for $10? Absolutely. I picked up a few things and went over to the hubs and tried to convince him that he should totally get some pink boxers. I’m so glad he’s game for my suggestions.
He was holding a pair of black boxer briefs, really nice, really great material. I told him I liked them and he did too so we added them to the pile.
We checked out with a whole bunch of stuff and gleefully made our way home.
You know when you come home from shopping and you start ripping into your bags like it’s Christmas morning and you have no idea what’s in there as if you didn’t just buy it all half an hour ago? I know, right?? I love that moment. So there we were pulling items out, removing tags when I hear my husband kind of mutter *what?* under his breath.
The black underwear.
There was a…thing…in them.
(this is the worst picture ever, but I took it early in the morning with my computer webcam, hopefully you can see where my fingers are)
Okay, that’s the waistband over my thumb, and around my fingers is a loop of material. With snaps on it. That’s on the front INSIDE of the boxers.
You know why??
To “lift” and “augment”. It’s a male push-up!!!!
Some brain child over at the men’s line manufacturing plant decided that dudes need a fabric cock-ring inside their manties for maximum junk display.
You put them on, gather up your fruity pebbles and your bam bam, loop the fabric around them, snap it closed and VOILA, instant dick-lift.
I will give them props, wearing them, he looked like Ben Stiller in Dodgeball when he had that air pump on the front of his spandex. Stuff was poppin’!!
I couldn’t help but notice a little extra strut went into his swagger. A little pomp in his circumstance. He was peacock-ing all over the bedroom. Which I found kind of endearing, since he doesn’t have to impress me, I’ve been looking at his cash and prizes for 18 years, but it was still sweet.
Something about this product I kind of love though. They’ve been making push up bras for ladies for years now, it’s about time someone came up with something for the guys.
I can only advise that if you run on out and get yourself a pair (ha ha, boys, go get a pair) that you don’t wear them if you know you’re going to be drinking a lot. I can only picture the scene, man bent over in the bathroom, trying to re-do the snaps, snagging a hair or worse, some skin, or just plain falling over while trying to make the snaps connect. And a drunken buddy posting that shit on YouTube.
Which actually, come to think of it, would be pretty funny after all.