Due to some highly intense stuff going on with our family, I thought it would be a good time to talk about mistakes. This is a coversation I had with my three youngest recently, aged 16, 14 and 12.
People fuck up. Why? Because we’re human and it’s in our nature to occasionally make mistakes. It happens and I can pretty much guarentee that everyone over the age of 18 (and in some cases, even younger) has a story about that time they really messed up.
I’ve done it. I’ve done it on a large scale even. Sometimes you get so caught up in the wrong, it’s really hard to see the right again, let alone make that first big step towards it. Sometimes you can mess up so bad that you start trying to justify the mistake because it’s easier than admitting just how far you’ve fallen. It’s heartbreaking and it’s even harder taking those first steps and telling your loved ones just what you’ve done.
But, as I learned a few years ago, mistakes can usually be fixed.
Maybe not immediately and maybe it will take a long time, years even, for people to start to trust you again, but if it’s worth it, you take that time, no matter how long it is, and keep on showing through actions and words, just how serious you are about changing.
Someone close to me has fucked up. There is no way to sugar coat it. He made some very serious, very big mistakes that led to big consequences. We haven’t talked much, but I know that this person is embarassed, maybe a little scared, definitely feeling overwhelmed.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s not getting a free pass – there is a lot of work that has to happen before we can feel trust between us again. But, there is an opportunity. An opportunity to prove change and to make ammends.
Because, as I told my dear children, I believen in second chances. I believe in allowing loved ones the opportunity to show that they can and will change. How could I believe any different, having been given that chance myself?
Unlike tigers, people *can* change their stripes. It’s harder for some than for others but it can actually be done. And don’t we all deserve that chance?