I can’t talk. Quite literally.
You know what’s hilarious? Trying to do the simplest things like buy gas for my car or order my morning coffee when my voice is at best, a shitty whisper and at worst, a prepubescent boy with crackles and insane highs and lows in my range. But only for like, one or two words in a sentence.
The ladies at the gas station were nice. They didn’t charge me for my two packs of halls that I bought along with my gas. That was sweet. But they did get noticably quieter with me as we interacted.
Tim Horton’s was another story. I went in and someone said hello, which, I couldn’t answer loud enough for her to hear me. I think she thought I was being rude. When I got up to the counter, she was the one taking my order. Yep, she definitely thought I had been rude because I got a rather curt ‘what can I get you’. I took a deep breath and carefully whispered out my order. Large. Decaf. 1 sugar. Double cup.
Then the funniest thing happened. Obviously, I have trouble talking today. But she started whispering back at me! Honey, it’s not my ears that are broken, it’s my voice. I have a whole Ariel thing going on (I even have red hair right now!) and I can hear you fine, I just can’t talk.
But, as our brief interaction went on, she got even quieter! By the time I left, she mouthed at me to have a nice day. Mouthed it.
Anyway, the family thinks it’s funny and last night they kept on telling me to stop yelling (your sarcasm is not lost on me, family), followed up by offers to make me tea. My mother called last night with news and I had to sit and listen to the speaker phone while she and the hubs had a conversation so that I could feel in the loop.
My ladies at work both feel sorry for me and think it’s funny.
My writer’s group probably at this point thinks I’m crazy (after the back issues, email issues, no plug for my laptop issue and finally, losing all the work on Summer Poppies). I am a walking, not talking, calamity of errors.
Now, I’m going to bury my head in my computer and my work for the next 8 hours and not talk to anyone.