I think we’re going to have to get him fixed. In fact, I’m pretty sure we are, that is, if we want to keep our socks.
Kermit is our five year old Pomeranian Poodle. He weighs 8 pounds and is black with little ewok ears and white fur on his feet that make it look like he’s wearing socks. When we got him, we all thought it would be hilarious to name him Kermit the Dog. He is super cute and a very sweet pup.
A few months after we got Kermit, we rescued Kira. She was already five at the time and had been very badly abused by her previous owners. She was super skittish and jumpy. Now of course she believes that she is an 80 pound lap dog, but she is the sweetest, smartest, most loyal dog in the world. Then of course about two years later we saw a picture online from a local farmer whose dog had recently had pups and we fell in love with Katie. She is the exact colour of caramel with big golden brown eyes. She is a puggle-bull dog cross and she is literally one of the most beautiful dogs I’ve ever seen. 35 pounds of lovely and dumb as a post, but we love her.
Now, I’ve described my other dogs so that you will have a mental picture. Big dog, medium dog, tiny dog. One male, two females.
Kermit is in heat.
Every morning I wake up to the sight of him on the doggy bed in my room with socks. He finds a sock, brings it to the bed, bites and scratches on it (to position it) and then humps the living daylights out of it. It’s maddening to try and keep all the socks away from him because my family has this habit of kicking off their socks in whatever room they happen to be in at night and just leaving them there, so there are always ample pickin’s for him in the morning. He recently deflowered and ruined a pair of my favourites that he took right out of the laundry basket. I was so upset.
Now, as annoying as that is, it’s almost comical to see a little dog make a sock his paramour, but funnier still is when he tries to get up on my girl dogs. He’s no bigger that Kira’s face and yet he thinks he can mount her. She is old now, she’s ten almost eleven and she will put up with it for a few minutes, probably because she knows, just like we do, that he’s not reaching anything of any significance. He’ll go for her leg, her thigh if she’s lying down, her middle, her FACE. No, I’m not kidding. He likes to try for her face. That’s usually around the time she will lost patience with him and swat him away with a paw. She makes a snorty noise when she does it too and I can’t help but picture her with an annoyed old lady voice telling him ‘enough now, sonny’.
So, he goes off to find Kate. Now, I’ve mentioned that Katie isn’t the smartest dog on the street and after seeing what Kermit has tried to accomplish with Kira, she will actually lie down and LET him attempt to make love to her face. Maybe she likes it. To each their own. But we inevitably stop it from going on.
I can’t even yell at Kerm when he gets all wired like this because the little bugger literally has a horny face that makes me laugh without fail. His ears perk up and he practically smiles at me with his tongue out. He looks like a tiny black and white adorable troll.
I definitely have to get him fixed.