Last night I did something that angered my kids.
I didn’t watch Glee with them.
We’ve had this thing, Wednesday’s we watch Survivor together (btw, how much did Survivor fans LOVE seeing Cochran win immunity again and then HATE seeing Malcolm go home??) and on Thursdays we watch Glee. It’s been a bit of a standing arrangment, much in the way my family growing up used to watch The Cosby Show. It’s a great time for us all to get snuggled up together on the couch and chat and talk back to the screen and just have some fun down time together.
But, sometimes I’m really tired. And sometimes the kids are really tired, or really cranky, or both and I just knew last night that I wasn’t up for it. I couldn’t take all the extra noise, the teeny bickering moments, the extra loud laughter, the dogs jumping all over everyone and well, all the things in a big family that usually make me really happy and smile-y.
Sometimes it’s too much. Sometimes I need to just go up to my room and lie quietly on my bed.
I know it upset them. Two of them came up to ask me why I wasn’t coming back down. One of them was mad enough to say, with heavy sarcasm, ‘thanks a lot’. I get it. I would be annoyed too. But I also know myself well enough to know that sometimes I just need out of the chaos for a bit. I didn’t want to turn the night into one where my own mental state caused friction, and let me tell you, as a mother to five kids, that can seriously happen on the nights when mommy has just about used up all her patience and good humour.
Sometimes you just gotta say, sorry kids, but this is for your good just as much as it is mine, and take a breather.
So, on two different floors of the house, we all watched the same show. It was quieter than normal, but it was nice too. Peaceful.
One of the things I am getting much better at these days is knowing when to listen to myself and say I need some time for me. It’s not always easy, and it’s certainly not always the popular choice, but it’s the best one in the long run.
I love my kids.
Just sometimes I have to love them from another floor.