Grocery shopping for a family of seven on a budget is tricky, y’all. Or at least, trying to keep to some sort of a budget that doesn’t break the bank, cause seriously, my kids can eat.
So, I remember about a month ago just trolling around the meat aisles of the local looking for stuff that wasn’t insanely expensive but would make a nice alternative to our ‘regular repertoire’ and I saw turkey sausages. Great, I thought. Kids love sausages and these are turkey so they’re probably way healthier than pork ones. So I bought them.
Putting away the groceries at home later that day one of my daughters commented that the sausages I bought looked ‘gross’. Because they seemed to be packed tighter than regular sausages and they just looked, according to her, too full and kind of weird. Like they might burst open at any second.
(this post is full of things that totally sound dirty, but aren’t, I’m just realizing)
That really has nothing to do with anything until today. Stick with me, it will seem like I’m getting off topic, but I’m like the chinese food buffet and I will come full circle.
I like to layer up my clothes in the winter. Because I hate the cold and I hate being cold. Plus, I recently got a bunch of thin pretty lace trimmed undershirts/tanks from Old Navy and I wear those under pretty much everything. So there I am this morning, throwing on the bra, the tank, the t-shirt, the sweater: all of which I chose from my current favourites when I noticed something. Something kind of uncomfortable and definitely not cool.
Okay, so I should also mention that maybe I’ve gained a few in the past few months. So weird. In the last two years alone I’ve lost 30 lbs, gained back 25, lost 20 and gained back 20. I’m a frickin’ yo-yo and my scale is about to go on strike. So, yeah, me=a little on the heavier side right now. So I get to the sweater layer and I noticed that it felt a little tight, but I didn’t really think about it too much because I had to run out of the house for a meeting and was already pushing it for time.
Which of course meant adding my winter coat, another layer, on top of it all.
By the time I got home and threw the coat off me, got upstairs and started digging into the things I had to do this morning, I realized that I was distinctly uncomfortable. My arms were feeling bound! This isn’t good, so I struggled out of the sweater which, I swear shrunk in the hour I was wearing it out. And all I could picture, when staring down at my arms after ripping the sweater off, was that I probably had the same damn look on my face as my daughter did looking at those turkey sausages.
And then of course my t-shirt felt too tight as well and before you know it I was madly pulling off all my upper layers and sitting next to the heap of them on the bed beside me feeling like I had spilled out of my own skin.
It’s okay. I am a normal woman and my weight is going to go up and down and up again and I have learned to cope with that. I have cute clothes for either scenario and while it’s a great boost to the ego to accidentally put on the ‘big’ stuff when I’m smaller and feel positively waif-like, it likewise makes me feel like fatty meat in a weird edible casing when it happens the other way around. Like today.
So, long story short, I don’t think I’ll be making sausages for dinner for a long time.