Fishin’ for new readers, day two:

My dear friend Jordan said to me that I should, at this point, be selling hundreds of books a month.  Oy Vey am I ever behind.  So, here is a snippet of Winter Jasmine to whet your intellectual appetites and get you interested in buying a copy of your very own.  Which you can still do at my website.

Please enjoy!!

The first thing Jaye noticed about the courtroom was how there was absolutely no warmth to it whatsoever. It was in the high-ceilinged room at the front left side of the building; probably back in its time it had been a ballroom or something of the like; now it was full of cold, polished wood furniture.

She and Rick had met Rebecca in her office first. There had been a little small talk, and Rebecca had asked her if she had any questions about, well, anything. Jaye had just shaken her head. She was feeling the same kinds of things as yesterday when she had left. She was jumpy, she saw shadows everywhere and she couldn’t feel her hands. Her eyes constantly darted around the office, the corridor and up and down every single doorway they passed. This time though, she was fighting that urge to run like a demon. She made herself think of all the things she had done in the last few weeks. She had gotten a tattoo; she had gone to the club and met real strippers, even befriending one of them. She had used that ridiculous and misogynistic cop and humiliated him in front of his co-workers. She was a tough bitch, dammit. But, she realized, she was going to have to stop grinding her teeth so hard or she’d have no teeth left.

Now, seated at the table next to Rebecca, her heart was finally starting to stay put in her chest again. Jaye made herself focus on the details of the room. There were high windows along one wall, with half-circle windows topping them off. The main parts of the window had blinds covering them. The arched parts had wood that had been cut to fit them, blocking any natural light from getting into the room. Behind her was the seating for the general public.

 The long benches of seats reminded her of back when her parents used to take the family to church. When you thought about it, court wasn’t all that different. You sat in the hard wooden seats and listened to the judge. You didn’t speak unless prompted. There was a set protocol for how the time would be spent. In the end, someone’s fate would be decided; someone’s soul would be saved or lost. 

She herself was seated with Rebecca at one of the two long desks just on the other side from the low fence that separated the visitors’ seating from the rest of the court room. Each desk had several chairs behind it and a podium beside it. There was a riser in between the desks, also fenced in with a single chair in it, probably from back in the days when the accused had to sit alone, maybe even before there were handcuffs to keep them immobile. It looked bleak and terrifying just sitting there by itself; a truly horrible seat to find yourself in.

In front of her was yet another riser, more desks. The court clerk was seated at one talking to, Jaye assumed, a bailiff. They were discussing methods for quitting smoking. The bailiff seemed to be warning the clerk, a woman, on how the nicotine gum was a waste of money. He was telling her that the taste was terrible and the consistency was that of wet cardboard. Jaye tore her attention away from their conversation and back to the details of the room. It was astonishing that anyone could talk about anything as mundane as smoking cessation when this huge event was about to take place.

Sitting up on yet another riser was the judge’s desk. The chair was high-backed and the desk had beautifully ornate woodwork adorning it. There was a pitcher of water and glass sitting on it. Behind it on the wall was a picture of Queen Elizabeth, and on each side there was a flag, one of Canada, one of Ontario. Jaye stared hard at the flags hanging flaccid from their posts. She wondered, since they were attached to poles, which were attached to the wall, if it was against the law for them to touch the floor. She had heard of such things in the States, that a flag could never touch the ground. She wondered too about the point of having a flag indoors where it could never get caught up in a playful breeze. What a sad type of servitude that had to be.

Beside her, Rebecca was shuffling some papers around. She was wearing a long black robe over her clothes with an inverted V collar sticking out of the neck. The other lawyer, it seemed, had yet to arrive. Rebecca flagged down an older gentleman who was wearing a blue blazer and seemed to be doing little other than crossing the room intermittently.

She looked at her watch as he approached their table. “Hey Gar, what’s going on? Shouldn’t we be getting ready to start by now?”

“The illustrious Mr. Simms is not here yet. We’ve got a message out to his phone, but he hasn’t answered. His secretary says that he’s stuck in the snow,” he chuckled.

“Oh, yeah, that entire humongous one half foot of snow on the ground? I’m sure that’s really dangerous for him to drive in!” Rebecca smiled but Jaye actually snorted at the thought of someone using the scant snowfall as a reason to be late, especially if this guy was from town. Even in the worst weather, the town never took more than twelve minutes to cross from one side to the other. This probably wouldn’t go over well with the judge, a fact which Jaye relished. They hadn’t even officially started yet, and already the defense was shooting itself in the foot. What a moment to savour. It did wonders towards calming her down from the earlier feeling of a jackrabbit invading her chest.

“Don’t worry,” Rebecca leaned down and whispered to her, “they won’t bring in the guys until their lawyer is here. You won’t have to see them until then. Just stay calm and breathe.”

“I’m trying.” She whispered back. “You know, I think I saw them yesterday. Da…Officer Stewart and another officer were taking them into a squad car out the back”

Rebecca looked at her. “Young-ish boys? About my height, one of them really skinny?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s the guys.”

Jaye noticed that Rebecca was looking at her rather intently.

“What?”

“You called Daryn by his first name, or were about to. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Why?”

“It’s just that…when people get that look on their face about Daryn, or start being aware of only using his professional title, it usually means he’s been up to no good. He’s not hitting on you, is he?” She sounded appalled.

 “No, he’s not. Or isn’t…” Jaye shook her head. “It’s kind of complicated. I may have used him a little when I was having a bad night and he just happened to be there.” A terrifying thought struck her. “That won’t affect the case, will it?”

“No, don’t worry; you’re not on trial here. You’re the one we’re defending…though I must say the idea of you using him, it’s highly amusing. I doubt he’s been used by a woman…well, ever. Oh, hey, does Rick know about this? You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

Jaye laughed out loud for a second, forgetting where she was. She quickly slapped a hand over her mouth and took a quick peek around the room. A few people had looked her way at the sound of her laughter, but most of them went back to their conversations.

“No way! I just kind of kissed him a bit and then basically told him to bugger off.”

It was funny to watch Rebecca’s reaction to this. She seemed to be stunned, surprised and relieved.

“Oh my god,” Jaye hissed. “Are you sleeping with him?”

“Not anymore,” Rebecca grimaced. “It’s a long story.”

“I’ll bet.”

The rest of their conversation was cut short by the appearance of the clerk.

“He’s here,” he said, referring to the late Mr. Simms.

Immediately the sick feeling returned to Jaye’s stomach. “Okay, now,” she said, leaning back towards Rebecca and whispering at her.

“Now what?”

“Now I want to know what they did. I don’t know if I can handle this if I hear about it during the process. Tell me right now.”

A shuffling from the side door made her look over just in time to see those boys being shuffled in. They were just being escorted to their chairs when another man rushed in from the door on Jaye’s side wearing a robe like Rebecca’s and hastened to sit down with them quickly. Jaye looked quickly back at her lawyer. “Now,” she mouthed at her.

Rebecca’s mouth opened to answer, but it was cut short by the sight of the Court Clerk standing up to deliver her speech.

“All rise…”

Jaye stood shakily. It was time to hear the truth.

 

As the opening words were read out to the courtroom, Jaye tried to focus on keeping her stance steady and her jaw from quivering. She didn’t dare look behind her for Rick, but could almost feel his gaze locked onto the back of her neck.

“Oh yay, oh yay, oh yay”

Jaye was only catching snippets of the opening statement being read out.

“…Honourable Judge….presiding….”

The thunder was roaring in her ears and she was cursing herself for wearing heels, no matter what Rebecca had told her about presentation and appearances. Mechanically, she and Rebecca took their seats while the charges were read out to the defendants and their lawyer.

“…that on the 17th day of January…Joshua Moody…..did willfully…”

She tried to tune out the voice listing off the series of injuries she incurred. She tried to bite down hard with her teeth, anything that would make her concentrate on something else.

“…on the 17th day of January….Francis Archer….did willfully….with sexual intent…”

 A single tear slipped unbidden from her eye. So, there was something else. She always thought so, in the back of her mind. The times it had been insinuated, the shock from her doctor, her psychologist, Rick, at not wanting to know the full details right from the get-go. Details she hadn’t wanted to know, but on some level must have suspected.

Jaye heard a few final words slip from the judge at the end of the reading of the charges.

“How do you plead?”

A tiny laugh hiccupped out of her mouth, so small, not even Rebecca heard her. How do you plead? How ironic that this was the question that was asked to the perpetrators of a crime. In Jaye’s case, she hadn’t had a chance to plead at all. Not for her safety, not for her virtue, not for her life.

 

Fishing for new nibbles

Still haven’t read Autumn Violets, my first book yet?  Well, here’s a little morsel to whet your appetite.

Jack had managed with the help of a nurse to get his father successfully into the wheelchair and the two were now making their way out to the large sunroom at the back end of the hospice, hopefully to move on outside and down to the riverbanks.

The bustle of the hospice was quick paced and upbeat, an encouraging thing since most of its residents were suffering from terminal illnesses of one type or another. Jack recognized a few that he had come to vaguely know since installing his own father here. There were the two men in their mid-forties with the last stages of AIDS ravaging their faces with legions, though they seemed to be the happiest of the bunch in the back room at the moment, engaging in a game of checkers and poking fun at each other’s choice of clothing. There was an old woman with serious Alzheimer’s surrounded by children and grandchildren that she didn’t know, but still seemed to be enjoying the company.

It was a lovely day outside and the large glass walls let the sun pour in, brightening the room and casting shining reflections on the faces of the visitors and patients alike. The staff bustled around, offering juice and cookies to some of the children, accepting thanks and warm looks from the families. Vicky was working, tucking a cushion under the back of a woman in the corner who was tapping away on the computer they had for the residents. Jack knew the woman had been a great writer in her earlier years, though he did not know much else about her, she never spoke. Vicky winked at him as he headed for the door to the outside and he nodded back at her. Kevin noticed this and looked up at Jack, though he kept his thoughts to himself.

Once they had made it outside, they followed the concrete path down to the edge of the property where there was a small iron table and two chairs set under a tree. He parked his father facing the water and set himself down in the chair. This is where they stayed for almost an hour; neither really saying much, just saturated in the atmosphere and each other’s company. Though it was mid-September the air was warm, the wind was slight and the birds swooped in and over the river, snatching  the odd bite of a fish as they prepared themselves for the long journey south that would be coming upon them soon. No one else had ventured outside, so the desire to stay quiet and still was fairly uninterrupted. Kevin would periodically turn his face upwards, soaking in the delights of the weather and the sunshine. Even the normally restless Jack didn’t seem to feel the need to talk; instead he watched the trail of a bunch on ants on the tree. He absently dragged a loose stick through the dirt on the ground and eventually got up and threw a few loose rocks into the water, watching as the ripples spread outward and eventually disappeared.

After they had kept their solace for a while, Jack reached into the bag he had brought with him and pulled out the cravat he had bought, tying it around his father’s neck.

“Oh, this is nice. Where on earth did you find it?” Kevin asked.

“Some shop the last time I was inToronto. I knew it would look good on you, just your style.”

“I think I’ll keep it on for the new night nurse tonight, she’s kinda pretty.” He mused.

“Playboy,” Jack said affectionately.

“Old habits die hard.” Kevin stated simply. “I can’t help it if I’m irresistible. At least now you know where you get it from.”

“Right, my stubbornness and my devastating good looks, shall I go on?”

“Please, I hadn’t realized you got me so well. I notice you didn’t mention my staggering intelligence.”

“That goes without saying.”

They smiled at each other.

“C’mon Jack; get me down closer to that water. It’s so gorgeous that I almost want to strip off and jump in. Remember that vacation we took when you were eight?”

“Yeah, that cottage was so cold, and we didn’t get the weather until the last day before we left. You were so happy that it was finally warm that you dropped your clothes right there on the beach and jumped into the water. Mom did too. I thought you guys were crazy.”

“I’m surprised you remember that so well.”

“It’s one of my favorite memories, though I haven’t thought of it in a while.”

They headed down closer to the river’s edge, Jack carefully scanning the slope for the safest spots to navigate the wheelchair. The shore was rocky and uneven, but neither of them seemed to care. Jack meandered closer to the edge, leaning down and letting the tips of his fingers trace the water’s edge.

“It’s warm!” He said, surprised.

“I want to feel it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Never more.”

Kevin leaned down in his seat and slowly removed his shoes and socks. Jack walked over to his father and knelt down, gingerly rolling up his pant legs. All of the trap-pings of his room had already come off for the day, the IV disconnected from the port-a-cath and the monitors disconnected. He kicked his own shoes off to the side and tucked his socks inside them. Then he leaned over and draped his father’s arm over his shoulder for support.

“Ready?” He asked. Kevin nodded so he carefully helped pull him to his feet. He was so small now his weight barely registered. Jack moved slowly with him towards the water’s edge. They looked down, the rocks of the shore digging into the bottoms of their feet, though neither of them complained. The water licked their toes and though it was indeed warm for this time of year, the shock of it made them both gasp, and then laugh out loud at their reactions. They wiggled their toes into the mud, stirring up little pools of brown amidst the brilliant blues and whites reflected from the sky. Jack had not seen his father look this alive in weeks, months even. Kevin laughed out loud and turned his face up to the sky with his eyes closed. For a small amount of time, they forgot the treatments, forgot Jack’s work and just enjoyed the moment. Words were unnecessary, instead they let the crispness of the day and the freedom of the water and sky swallow them whole. They spent a good half hour, until Jack noticed that his father was beginning to get a little shaky from the cold.

“We should go in and get you warm; I don’t want you to catch pneumonia.”

“Like that matters now. Don’t you just love this, Jack? I could stay here all day.”

“Okay, ten more minutes anyway.”

“Stop worrying about me, just have fun please. Please Jack. I want to just enjoy today without you getting so worried. Watch this,” and with twinkling eyes, he let go of his son and stomped his foot down hard, sending a small cascade of water spraying up Jack’s leg.

“Ahh-ah!” Jack yelped, “That’s cold!”

“Nonsense, you’re just not used to it, look, your feet are fine!” And with that he stomped his foot again, splashing Jack’s other leg.

“Oh, it’s on now old man!” And Jack jumped up in the air with a whoop, bringing both feet down together in the water and showering Kevin’s pants with a large splash.

They yelped and hollered like little boys, until their clothes were wet and clung to their bodies and then Kevin’s face changed and Jack brought him quickly back to his chair. He covered his shriveled shivering legs with the blanket he had brought and gathered up the shoes and socks. Though Kevin was panting, he was smiling so largely that it fairly split his face in two.

“Thank you.”

Decisions and Choices

Life always seems just a little bit better to me at this time of year.  The sun is shining more, the weather gets warmer, spring is tied for my favourite season of the year.  I love noticing how hyper-green the new leaves on the trees seem next to the incredibly blue sky.  I love hearing the bees (but not actually coming into contact with them) I love seeing blossoms everywhere and I just love the way the air smells. 

It’s really good planning that spring comes after winter and just lights me up the way it does because winter always punches me in the guts. 

But winter is over for another year.  Time to think about the present and the future, and not dwell on the past.

With that being said, now that the show is going into its second and final weekend, I have made the conscious choice NOT to do any more theatre for a few months.  I need the time off.  I need the time back with my family and I need to focus on a couple of projects that will be time consuming if done correctly. 

First of all, thanks to all the new readers who are checking out Winter Jasmine, which you can still order on my website HERE. I’m also trying to get it trending on twitter, so…. go to twitter and follow me (@nualathewriter) OR start using the hashtag: #WinterJasmine   I need all the help I can get.

As with all this planning and working, I will hopefully be able to start work on the new website: Everybody Counts; The Perfection Project fairly soon.  As per usual with me (and yes, Shawn, I know you’re grinning at this) I sometimes get excited about an idea and bite off more than I can chew.  Which seems to be the case with this.  It’s something I feel very passionate about, but finding the time to do it is the real issue.  Honestly, I have no idea how Brittany Gibbons does it.  And her kids are even younger than mine!

I have also made a few decisions lately that weren’t exactly the easiest ones to make, but they were the best ones for my family and I’m feeling really positive about it.  It’s time to move on and stop letting things from the past dictate how I live out my future.  It’s time to let go of baggage.  It’s a good feeling.

So here’s hoping you are all enjoying the delightful May sunshine and the promise of sweeter days to come.  Which, you know, are always just a little sweeter with a deck chair, a glass of wine, and a good book. 

Cheers!

Accomplishments

Whenever I get all “down” on myself or quiet or sad or even just plain out of sorts, my wonderful husband likes to sit and remind me of everything I have accomplished.  It’s easy to forget the positives when we live in a world that so frequently focuses on the negatives, so forgive me please while I toot my own horn in the name of (not narcissism) maintaining a positive outlook and reminding myself that I am a pretty good person.

The Big Stuff:

17 years married and 5 kids.  Sometimes we can take these things for granted, but I am proud of and thankful for my family every single day.

Multi-published columnist, twice published author. The reason I started to blog in the first place was to get the word out more about my writing.  Now it’s turned into a promotional place as well as my therapy of sorts.  But either way, I have a reader base now that I wouldn’t have had otherwise and I’m continually grateful for it.

Surviving a “death” moment during the birth of my youngest, surviving a cancer episode, battling back from extremely poor health.

Being able to finally admit my issues with depression and being able to finally proactively deal with it.

Finding a stable job with only my high school education, being able to excell in my position.

Directing my first play, which was glowingly adjudicated yesterday.

My friendships, having them, holding on to them, and making new ones.

Knowing that no matter how many negatives get thrown at me, I am always learning every day that I can and will overcome them, and that I don’t always have to dwell on them.

Finally starting to realize that I am enough, just as I am.

 

It has been an eventful past twelve months, but with the support and love of my husband, I feel that corners are being turned.  I can smile with my whole heart again and I am happy with my life.

I encourage everyone to find time today to acknowledge your accomplishments as well.  You’re worth it.

Romance in the air

Tonight, lying in bed with my beloved.  Brains fried after an exhausting but highly rewarding weekend at the theatre.  He says to me: I have to pee, but I don’t want to get up.

Then he rolled over and asked me if I would cup my hands for him to pee in so he wouldn’t have to get up.  I said: Sure, but only if I can punch you directly in the face, as hard as I can, more than one time.

He says:  Woah, woah, wait…how many times?

I say: Directly in proportion to how grossed out and annoyed with you I get for having your pee in my hands.  Somewhere between….um, 4 and 98.

Yes, my friends, this is romance.

Incidentally, since I was trying to convince him that he would pass out at around punch 11 and he was convinced my hand would hurt too much to continue on to the number I was sure would wind up at around 83; he got up and went to the bathroom.

And that, my friends, is how you stay married for over 17 years.

Good night.

(Not) Funny Saturday

This is just too amazing to not share.   I used to play this song loudly when I was ticked with the ‘rents.  What a beautiful tribute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVr4UP9ntLs&sns=fb

 

In which I talk books

I am officially rescinding my original reaction to the “50 shades” series.  It is not hot.  Okay, so the first few “love scenes” I admit did make me a little bit blush-y but ever since then it’s been like, okay, we know she’s just going to regurgitate the same things over and over again.  Long fingered hands? Check.  Oh my (at least four times)? Check.  The words “my sex” (groan)? Unfortunately check.  Some reference to either Icarus or how beautiful Christian is?  Yeah, been there done that.

Quite frankly, I’m bored with the sex scenes.  There are too many of them and they are so repetitive they lose their appeal after about thirty pages in. 

The storyline is okay, but it’s really predictable, and yet I am still trying to finish reading this damn series just so I can see how she leaves it. 

The other thing that both amuses and annoys me is these random references to obscure things she throws in there for no apparent reason.  Was it really necessary for a character to just announce “Oh, she threw you a googly”?  Does anyone even care about cricket?  Oh yes, John is British, so heaven forbid he not come out with one completely arbitrary reference. 

Groan.  Why can’t I just put it away? 

Anyway, that’s enough about the calamitous writings of Ms. E L James. 

Incidentally, the hubs started to read the first book and he couldn’t even get a third of the way through.  He says she makes me look like a bestseller.  I’m pretty sure he meant that as a compliment on my writing style as compared to hers.

Now, that being said, I want to talk about other books.  In a stupendous right turn for this post, I want to talk about kids books.

I’ve been reading to my two youngest again, albeit, the reading time has dropped badly as we have gotten closer to the production of the play I’m directing (which opens tonight!!!  Woot!!!) and we’re nearly done with the quadrilogy that we were working on.  I’m trying to think of a great new book we can read together.  They are ten and twelve.  So far we have read Charlotte’s Web, The Toothpaste Genie, and almost all four original Bruno and Boot’s Macdonald Hall books.  I think I need to do an in depth inventory of the tween section on my bookshelf to find them something age appropriate, unique and spellbinding for our next book project.  All suggestions are welcome, of course.

In two weeks, our play will close and I will be back to focusing hard core on the books.  Spring Daisies is going to be released soon and there is a lot to prepare for to get it ready.  I’m excited though, for those of you who have read the first two and are waiting for Sloane’s story.  And for her baby. 

Otherwise, life continues to be busy.  As my daughter Aislinn puts it “you know you’re a Reilly if you’re almost never home”.  She’s going to be 14 in a few weeks.  It shatters my mind. 

I hope everyone else is enjoying the return of the sun and the heat as much as I am.  It’s perfect weather to go and grab a book…a GOOD one, and sit out in the sun, getting lost in another world. 

Unless you have to work.  In which case, daydream about curling up in the sun with a book. 

Happy days.