It started a couple of days ago. I could feel it, under the surface, festering.
And of course, it’s to the right of my mouth, just above my laugh lines. Where everyone can see it. And of course, it’s also one of those big painful ones, where you can feel the skin over it stretching painfully before it’s fully to the surface.
I’m 37. And I have a giant ass pimple on my face.
I didn’t really have a big issue with acne as a teenager. I was blessed with a face that only broke out rarely and usually close to the hairline. But…since about my mid twenties on, every so often my amazing (she says über sarcastically) body will come up with one of these singular sensations and plant it right in the middle of my damn face.
It’s bright red too. Did I mention that?
I feel like a Picasso version of Rudolph.
What I’m saying is I’m not a fan. So tonight after dinner I have a date with my bathroom mirror and any facial products I have sitting on the shelf that I have not used in a dog’s age to see if I can rid myself of it. Maybe, if I’m feeling up to it, I might even turn the event into a bit of a girly night and indulge in a hot bath and some toenail painting. For now, I’m just going to try to pretend it’s not there, pretend people aren’t staring at it and try not to scratch my face.
It’s a super-awesome friday.
My zit population decreased incredibly after I turned 40. You would think I’d celebrate that. You’d be wrong. The zits moved out of face-town to make room for those assholes the facial hairs. WTF? You don’t have to shave your legs as much with this menopause thing because the hair slows its growth down there so that you have to visit the salon every week to have peach fuzz ripped out by the roots with a twisted thread. If you don’t, you may as well buy a Harley-Davidson, throw on the black leather vest and twist up that handle bar mustache in time for a trip to Daytona for bike week.
My 14 yr old has already pointed out my new “moustache and chin” hairs…she’s so thoughtful. This sucks, dude.
You’ve only just begun………..!